Money and Politics

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The Labour Party is not looking in great shape as the general election draws closer and seems able to find problems where none exist such as the row which has blown up following Tony Blair's donation to Labour candidates in target seats.

Now none of these big donations are completely 'clean' and if you ask me, that's why big money from private donors and the trade unions should be taken out of politics altogether.

But for some idiotic Labour candidates to make a fuss about Tony Blair's donation reeks of political suicide to me because how can a Scottish Labour candidate baulk at Blair's donation when the Unite trade union has handed over £14 million of their members' money to Labour since Ed Miliband became leader in 2010? 

Many more Unite members in Scotland vote for the SNP than for the Labour Party, so I wonder if we'll hear what Lesley Brennan thinks about that particular donation.

In any event, as Philip Collins points out in this column for The Times Lesley has been chosen by Labour to lose the Dundee East seat to the SNP which may well be poetic justice.

Although what baffles is that if Lesley didn't want to accept Tony Blair's donation, surely the smart thing to do was to write back and say, politely, No Thanks instead of helping to create a big media story that makes Labour look ridiculous.

How mad to look Blair’s gift horse in the mouth

By Philip Collins - The Times


Notebook

I have heard some choice political absurdities but please be upstanding for Lesley Brennan who has been chosen by Labour to lose Dundee East to the SNP. Tony Blair has donated £1,000 to each of the 106 Labour candidates in target seats but Ms Brennan, following her “instinct” she says, has declined the money. With Labour about to lose a winnable election, Ms Brennan might recall that Dundee East was last a Labour seat in the Blair landslides of 1997 and 2001.

Her self-harming attitude reminds me of a story Mr Blair tells about the national executive committee, Labour’s governing body. In the midst of one of his regular NEC tickings-off for not being left-wing enough, Mr Blair came close to losing his patience. Instead, he responded with this wittier equivalent of “take that you idiots”: “I was loyal to this party through three election defeats. All I ask in return is that you should be loyal to me through three victories.”


Let’s hand it to Ed

If David Cameron doesn’t want to appear on television, the broadcasters should revive an old format and host An Audience With Ed Miliband. I love the idea of Ed doing progressive capitalism gags before a crowd of invited celebrities. “I think Tess Daly has a question on inequality. Hi Tess.” It would be quite a moment in television history.

As Father Dougal said when he was told that Father Ted was going to have an audience with the Pope: “Oh, I love those programmes. Did you see the one with Elton John?”


Write stuff

At the Cholmondeley Room in the House of Lords, the guest speaker is Lissa Muscatine, a White House speechwriter, whose story about Hillary Clinton calling her staff at 3am leaves the impression not of dedication but of selfishness.

Still, as a taskmaster, Mrs Clinton has nothing on the notorious Henry Kissinger. After he left office, Mr Kissinger took a White House speech-writing veteran to China on a tour. On the first day, the writer brought Mr Kissinger a draft of a speech and was told to come back in two hours. When he did so, Kissinger thrust the draft in his hands and said curtly: “Is that the best you can do?”

Rather chastened, the writer reworked the text, discovering, to his chagrin, that the speech was doing two things poorly rather than one thing well. He gave the improved draft to Mr Kissinger who told him, again, to come back in two hours. When the writer turned up he got the same dismissal: “Is that the best you can do?”

Now more than a little intimidated, the writer read every sentence out loud and discovered deep problems of repetition and rhythm. He inserted vivid imagery and a clever metaphor at the beginning and a rhetorical flourish at the end. Convinced this was his best work, he took it to Mr Kissinger who told him, curtly, to come back in two hours.

When he returned for a third time, the writer was dismayed and annoyed to be confronted by Mr Kissinger holding the draft in the air and asking again: “Is that the best you can do?” Risking his prospects and collecting his courage, the writer shot back: “Yes, it is actually.” At which, with the merest hint of a smile, Mr Kissinger said: “Good. In which case, I’ll read it then.”


Colour bind

One of the best pictures of recent days was of an Indonesian chameleon in recumbent pose, winking for the camera. Chameleons are one of those creatures, like lemmings, about whom we know one thing and it’s wrong. We think they change colour just to camouflage themselves. That’s why the word has associations with low cunning. But in truth chameleons don’t change colour to blend in with the background. They change according to mood — often fear or anger.

It’s not a clever plan, it’s instinct.

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