Poetry Corner



The London Mayor, Boris Johnson, is a talented chap whatever you think of his politics and he has proved as much by writing a poem for the launch of a book by Rachel Kelly, 'Black Rainbow', a collection of poetry intended to help people suffering from depression. 

 But Bojo, ever the politician, uses the opportunity to take a swipe at his political rivals including the Labour leader, Ed Miliband, while helping to publicise the book.  

 In one verse, Boris refers to the manner in which Ed snatched the Labour crown from his older brother David Miliband, but his targets are many and varied.  

 Here is Boris Johnson's poem in full:
Read a Poem

 The book we hail tonight

 – and by gum this girl can write –

 has a very simple thesis:

 If your life has gone to pieces

 Read a poem

When no doctor and no nurse

 Can stop you feeling worse

 And you’re railing at the failings

 Of the whole damn universe

 Read a poem

When the RMT is out

 And the Tube is up the spout

 And the bus is overheating

 And you’ve missed a crucial meeting

 Read a poem

There is no known disaster

 That poetry can’t master

 No human agony that it can’t calm

 So when your nerves have turned to jelly

 Follow clever Rachel Kelly

 And uncork a poem’s magic verbal balm

If you’re feeling pretty blue

 And you’re French and five foot two

 And you’re lost at Waterloo

 Read a poem

When you’ve been stopped from leading Labour

 By your brother’s bad behaviour

 Read some Wilfred Scawen Blunt

 And forget the little ----

If you’ve been driving much too fast

 And Mrs Huhne has grassed

 Don’t get cross with Mrs Huhne

 Try some Owen or Sassoon

 Read a poem

Learn to silence the cold caller

 With a chunk of Edmund Waller

 If your children’s manner grates

 Read William Butler Yeats

 If they yammer for a story

 Give them William Johnson Cory

If your fuse is going to blow

 Try some Edgar Allan Poe

 If you’ve got a carcinoma

 Try a line or two of Homer

 And a gumboil on the ass

 Can be cured with Lycidas

And when the awful moment comes

 To buy presents for your chums

 And you feel the rising panic

 Like the captain of Titanic

 Get them Keats and get them Shelley

 But mainly get them Rachel Kelly

It’s here in easy reach

 And it’s perfect for the beach

 Don’t just look

 Buy this book

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